We are the entertainment-addict Generation

“Are you not entertained?” ~ from the movie Gladiator

We're an entertainment-addicted society. We need to be entertained at every waking moment and who knows, maybe even our dreams are next. Four hours of TV per night is no longer enough: we need to be able to watch TV on our cell phones, have TV monitors in elevators to be entertained on the fifteen-second ride to our floor, and even in cabs--heaven forbid we look out the window and observe the world as we cross town. We even view thought-provoking video commercials while standing in line at the grocery store--the possibility of boredom while waiting to buy things is unacceptable!

Restaurants now have TV’s positioned around the dining rooms so every guest can enjoy the pleasure of moronic television shows and avoid talking to the people in front of them. Thanks to cell phones, we enjoy eavesdropping on intellectually stimulating conversations of strangers around us as they get input from friends and family on important decisions such as whether they ought to get Cocoa Puffs or Fruit Loops at the grocery store. Forget using cell phones for emergencies, use them all day long and exploit as many meaningless conversations as your plan allows!

It's a good thing we have computers and the Internet at work: faking working has gotten so much easier this way. You no longer have to be bored at work, i.e., actually doing your job, now you can spend the workday day on idiotic message boards talking to people that you'll never meet in real life. When that gets boring, you can spend the rest of the day watching home video clips on YouTube. Once another "productive" day at work closes, it's time to go home and spend the evening entertaining yourself further with such stimulating TV shows as The Moment of Truth and The Flavor Of Love.

No need to think about what you'd actually want to do with your life nor what line of work you'd enjoy. Work isn't supposed to be fun and a job is supposed to be, well, a job! That's the bill of goods you've bought--hook and sinker--and why shouldn't you follow the masses? Just keep distracting yourself with entertainment outlets...and when you're on your deathbed you won't have the regret of inadequate entertainment during your fulfilling lifetime.

It seems many movie and TV production companies are all-to-aware aware of our addiction to entertainment and her fat cousin, spectacle. Thus they no longer bore us with neither complex plots nor dialogue in movies and shows. Why bother with character or story development when we can watch things blowing up and otherwise getting tossed around for ninety minutes? Ah yes, it's fun being part of the MTV generation! Forget about movies which might inspire people to live more fully. Nah! Living vicariously is the in-thing...and the masses are skilled at it. In fact, if the sport of living vicariously-though-entertainment ever becomes an Olympic event, we'll win, hands down!

You'd think that with our addiction to entertainment and our access to information we'd no longer accept boring jobs, only doing what genuinely interests. Yet that's not the case. Many people accept a bill of goods that jobs are boring you'll have to put up with forty-plus hours of boredom per week, then get in as much entertainment as possible during off-hours and weekends to make up for it. Hell, if you can get in as much entertainment as possible when you're at work, via the Internet, who says you can't have it all?

Unfortunately, our entertainment-addiction hasn't carried over to the places where it really matters. It's used instead as a coping mechanism to accept our lives as they are without bothering to change. After all, why bother taking risks and doing the hard work that it takes to make the changes necessary to living a fulfilling life? Far easier is vicarious living though others, via entertainment sources. But entertainment rarely inspires us to make our own lives better, merely substituting for deeper experiences of life. When we disassociate the entertainment from our experience of living, we don't see the obvious connection of how one, when used properly, can improve the other.

In addition to being an entertainment-addicted society, we're also a society which no longer understands the concept of delayed gratification. After all, not having what we want--right now--is boring! Working hard and sacrificing are unacceptable options; we want things now and if we can't afford those things, there are friendly--and generous--companies willing to lend us the money it takes to make all our material dreams come true.

These lenders, of course, have our best interests in mind, only charging a reasonable 20% plus APR to borrow money, so we can buy the mountains of things that we need to fill up our garages. Want a big screen TV but can't afford it? No problem! Just sign up for the monthly installment plan and spend the rest of your life paying it off. Who cares if the $4000 TV ultimately costs you $20,000 in interest fees, when--and if--you ever pay it off? You must live fully in the moment and refuse to sacrifice the now! After all, that's the secret to enjoying life, right? If you cannot afford something, get it anyway and worry not about the consequences--maybe you'll get lucky and die, sparing yourself the worry about paying back the money.

A result of our entertainment addiction and hatred of delayed gratification is that saving money is now an outdated concept. Money is for spending, in order to be entertained now. Putting away money is boring and doesn't at all support our present entertainment. As for the future, I'm sure things will just work out fine--right? I hope so.

It's no wonder that moronic sayings, such as fake it until you make it, are so popular today. Our society has become very good at faking it: we fake liking jobs we hate; we fake enjoying lives that we detest; we fake being happy when we're miserable inside. We fake being who we aren't and yes, we even fake financial wealth when we're living month to month. Well, you can't fake success or happiness, no matter how hard you try, so don't bother. Further, if you work hard, and pay the price of success, you'll never have to "fake it". If you do some self-reflection, and determine what makes you happy, you don't have to fake it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with watching TV or a good movie. In fact, while 99% of TV is garbage, the few quality shows are better than all the campy shows that used to be on many years ago. The Shield, 24, The Tudors and Sleeper Cell are all well-made shows, with good acting and engaging plots. Shows like these, in addition to being engaging, can actually provoke independent thought. Addiction to entertainment, and using it as a substitute for living a genuine life, is a slippery slope for some--and an avalanche for most. People are better than that and should expect more of themselves.

So where do we go from here? One, stop playing the distraction game. Stop distracting yourself from living your life fully and try spending an hour alone with your thoughts each day. This means no music, TV, reading, no conversations--nothing for that hour. Don’t worry, you can go back to your four hours of TV after the hour is up! You may find this painfully boring, which says a lot about your lack of imagination. The more dialogues you have with yourself, the better you'll know yourself, giving you the impetus to make some changes in your life. A more aggressive approach is to unplug the TV for an entire week, turn off the cell phone except for emergencies, and check email just once per day. You'll learn a lot about yourself in a week of unplugging...and you may not like what you find. Brutal reality may be unpleasant but clarity is necessary for growth. Otherwise, keep distracting yourself as the years go by and changes occur, though, most likely, they won't be the changes you want

Are You Worthy Of Advice?

By Mike Mahler

Most of life is on-the-job training. Some of the most important things can only be learned in the process of doing them. You do something and you get feedback--about what works and what doesn’t. If you don’t do anything for fear of doing it wrong, poorly, or badly, you never get any feedback, and therefore you never get to improve. — Jack Canfield

An interesting thing about good advice is that it' doesn't usually benefit the recipient unless he has enough life experience to comprehend the value. For instance, until I'd made every marketing mistake in the book, I didn't grasp the importance of researching effective marketing strategies and seeking advice from excellent marketers. Part of learning what works is learning what doesn't work and when I bitterly understood the results of ineffective marketing strategy, I became an empty glass, thirsty to fill myself with productive marketing skills.

When you don't understand the value of the advice given, it doesn't matter how great it is, you simply aren't ready for the message. You've got to earn the ability to assimilate advice in order to benefit from it. The most impeccable system for mastering calculus is meaningless if you haven't yet taken algebra and geometry. Calculus is way too advanced for you; you're not ready. Once you start the calculus course and begin struggling to achieve, you'll be receptive to advice.

Generally, when things are going well (or at least we think they're going well) we're less open to advice. Try giving advice to someone who's just begun strength training and you'll know what I mean--remember when you first started training? In the first months trainees can make terrific progress on just about any program, so at this stage they typically aren't open to any advice, thinking they know what they're doing and that infinite progress is theirs. However, once their progress slogs down to nothing or, worse, they're injured, trainees may finally realize they don't have all the answers after all. Not only are they now open to advice, they'll actively seek it to get back on track...that, or they give up.

Of course, seeking advice doesn't mean you're ready to receive advice. Often, advice-seekers attempt to postpone the inevitable while they safely remain in research mode. They tell themselves when they've done enough research and heard enough advice, they'll take some kind of action. The problem is no amount of advice or research is ever enough. No matter the exceptional advice they're given, they imagine they need still more. No matter how much research they do, they suffer a need to do still more. Somehow these people think if they can just secure enough advice, and carry out enough research, they're safe from making mistakes. The fear of making mistakes is the fundamental reason so many people neither grow nor find their success; their anxieties about hard work and failure delay necessary action. The results? Their fears come to fruition.

Making mistakes--and lots of them--is simply part of the learning process. Everybody remembers NBA great Michael Jordan as an incredible player yet his only record is for the most missed. shots. ever. Michael risked more shots than any other player, thus missing more shots than anyone. However, he scored lots of shots, which is what people remember. He wasn't afraid to miss, realizing the more chances taken, the more chances for success; he'd never have made all those shots without the record misses. For analogy, who would you rather be: a salesperson who makes a single call with a single success, or a salesperson making one thousand calls resulting in one hundred sales? The former has a 100% closing rate, while the latter has only 10%, but we must look at results, not percentages. The second salesman closed one hundred deals while the first guy only closed one! I guarantee the second sales guy learned more on his way up, thereby being more open and more able to improve and benefit from meaningful advice. The first salesman, with his 100% closing rate, is unlikely to be open to advice. Again, experience is the magic ingredient so crucial to valuing timely advice.

I used to believe people who paid for advice valued it most, but since, I've witnessed thousands of people getting great results simply by reading my free articles while clients paying me for online consultations take neither me nor themselves seriously, ending up dissatisfied with their lack of (desirable) results. Some people think spending money for advice is a sure thing, but it means nothing if you're not following through, i.e., if you don't value the money you've spent on advice, neither will you value the advice given. Or perhaps you're one of those reaping the benefits of collecting the great free advice available out there, all because of your receptivity and right mindset.

The bottom line: there's a right time and place to benefit from advice. If you're not in that time and place, no benefit. You must earn the right to a receptive mind.

So, before asking anyone for advice, make sure you're worthy to receive it.

Live Life Aggressively!

Mike Mahler

No Need To Be Jealous Of Others

By Mike Mahler

“If you are discontented but unwilling to give up what is holding you back, you will have to admit that it is you who has chosen to reject success and to abandon the dream of being all of the best you can be. If this is so, you can stop getting jealous whenever you see other people around you succeeding in the life you thought you wanted for yourself.”
– Chin-Ning Chu, from her book Do Less, Achieve More

Over the years, I've realized you can't want success for others more than they want it for themselves. You can give someone the tools they need for success but if they don't use those tools and follow through, success will always evade them. You can send them opportunity after opportunity and introduce them to all the right people, yet success will always evade them. Why are some people not prepared to lay the groundwork for success? Who knows? As motivational speaker Jim Rohn says, “It's one of the mysteries of the universe.”

The main reasons people fail to succeed? Lack of self-responsibility and self-awareness. You have to take charge of your life and take responsibility for your success. It's not anyone else’s job but your own to be successful--as long as you rely on other people and relinquish responsibility, you won't experience success. No matter what others do for you, if you don't take responsibility for yourself, it's all in vain.

I once had an online client who signed up for a three-month program. I put a program together for him and never heard back...until six months later when he emailed me complaining I'd let him fall off-course and that it was my fault he didn't succeed. In his world, it was my fault. After all, he'd done his part in paying for the program, right? Wrong: you can't buy success; success is earned though action. Yes, you can buy knowledge, which is critical to success--but certainly not everything, there are plenty of knowledgeable people out there in all manner of fields who aren't successful, due to lack of right action.

Lets get back to the client: the client didn't follow the program designed for him and never sent me his training journal. I require all my clients to keep a training journal and to send me that journal every Friday for review. This keeps the client and I both engaged and committed; however, I clarify up front that if you neglect to email your journal I won't be emailing you.

I'm not the type of trainer who'll come to your house and wake you up in the morning or call everyday to motivate you--that's not what “Aggressive Strength” is all about. I want to work with people who are ready to make a change and are self-motivated. These people require guidance, direction, and a personalized program to fit their lifestyle. That's the service I provide--not coddling people and treating them like children.

The online client who didn't follow through on his end chose to blame me for his lack of success, even though he chose to neither follow the program designed for him nor to send his journal for feedback. While he was motivated enough to pay for a training program, he wasn't motivated enough to take the real-world action and responsibility necessary for his success. Many people feel that if they're paying someone for a service, that person is now responsible for their success. Well, it doesn't work that way: no one else can do this work for you. You can't drop the “success burden” upon others and expect positive results--such a mentality is for losers! The best others can do for you is act as guides and consultants, supporting your getting on track and staying there. At the end of the day, you have to put in the work.

Next, lets talk about self-awareness: what do you know about yourself--and of what are you capable? What is it about yourself that holds you back? Plenty, probably, if you take an honest appraisal. Yes, you have to take a ruthless look at yourself and address your weak points. Of course, this means actually accepting that you have weak points and then, more importantly, doing something about them. The former is often harder than the latter as it's easy to wear blinders and blame circumstances or the world for your own lack of success--people do it every day.

One common trait holding back unsuccessful people is their jealousy of others' successes. The unsuccessful can't stand to see people do what they themselves didn't have the stones for. Whenever someone acquires success, the jealous people get angry. What they fail to realize is this: successful people are prepared to pay the price of success, thus any jealousy of that success is both petty and counterproductive. Jealousy is a wasted emotion which misplaces your focus. Again, the focus needs to be not on others, but inward--on what you are prepared to do. Your own lack of success isn't anyone else’s fault, and your wasted jealous energy won't change this.

Rather than feeling jealousy around successful people, a better use of vital energy is feeling inspiration--realizing that what others can do, so can you. It boils down to that word no one wants to hear: sacrifice. What are you prepared to sacrifice for success? You can't watch four hours of TV everyday, then waste four more hours surfing the Internet, then complain that you don't have time for creating success. When you take time to assess your situation and your daily habits, what becomes clear is what you're not doing and thus, what needs to be done. The only question left is--what are you prepared to do now?

One thing is certain: days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. Before you know it, you've repeated the same year over and over again as a decade's passed you by. But you always have this choice: if you're content where you are, stay there and continue with your daily routine--or, choose a new direction for yourself and finish what you once started.

Live Life Aggressively!

Mike Mahler